balance and peace

^Post-Christmas Elk Refuge sleigh ride (see below). ^ 

I wrote this a few days ago, and hadn't found the time and space to complete it and tack on some photos.  The last few months have been a whirl of new experiences, new interests, less time, and re-prioritizing.  Right now, I have a tasty cup of Aero-press coffee at my side, my man has the day off and both kids are sick--although you wouldn't know it based on energy levels (I'm attributing that to the Thieves oil I put on their feet last night).  

Even though I turned 39 less than two months ago, I can feel the weight of what this year, 2015, brings: my 40th year on this planet.  And with that comes a strong urge to get my shit together.  To find the balance of health, wealth, organization, creativity, vitality and life, and to do it with my monkeys at my side.

  ^Mid December: Mom and daughter Nutcracker date.  I don't know what's up with the basket.^

^Local dancers plus the very same ballet company I grew up with: the Eugene Ballet Company came to our little corner of Wyoming!  I was SO happy to have *this* as my kids' first Nutcracker experience.^

::  ::  ::

I've been noticing what little evidence is left that we once had babies in our home.  Crib, changing table, potty chair...it's all gone.  Cloth diapers have been relegated to the rag pile (too scrappy to pass on).  What little remains of babyhood is all boxed up in the attic, waiting to be passed on in 30 years to some future grandkid, or made into a memory quilt.  We have a 3 year old and a 5 year old now.  Two ferociously strong personalities circle our home.

Yesterday both kids were crawling under the Christmas tree, wagging their tails high in the air.  Bare, little feet stuck out--those soft, pink, padded toes.  I wanted to lock that moment in my brain, to remember this, always.

I have been tucking notes away on Hazel for the last year and a half.  All her little quirks, come and gone and on to the next.  (I have a long overdue letter to Hazel coming very, very soon.)

2014 was the first year I didn't have a kid sharing my bed.  Looking back, so much of my focus was trying to get my own projects done; to do some things for ME after four years of dedicating my life to these small humans.  I did that, but in my wake I left behind a frantic, disorganized mess.

I have dedicated 2015 to swinging the pendulum back to center.  When I stumbled into 2015, clutching a steaming cup of coffee, friends strewn about the house, we asked each other our resolutions and this was mine: This year, I want to find balance and peace.  There are lots of fineries and nuances wrapped into those two words, but for now, that will do.

::  ::  ::

^A few days after the Nutcracker, our own little dancer took the stage.^

^How much actual dancing she did is debatable, but her favorite part: "Being on stage!" and the cookies afterwards.^  

I like my holidays to be of the slow, dough-kneeding variety.  This year, we were far from it.  It was hectic, busy, too fast, not enough.  (As of today, I still have a stack of "New Year's" holiday cards to mail.)  It was December 15th by the time I got our advent calendar on the wall.  I read somewhere that you should take all your holiday traditions and activities and drop them.  ALL of them.  Then, slowly add the ones that have the most meaning for your family and skip the rest.  To some degree we did that (we had to), but I could do some more cutting and pasting.

We have been so lucky in that family has come to us for Christmas since we've lived in this house.  This year was no exception with my in-laws here for Christmas followed immediately by my husband's brother's family and out-of-town friends for New Year's.  For you: a shotgun photo montage of our holiday:      

:: We adopted a dog from the shelter.  She is 4 1/2 and was found running along the highway with badly infected puncture wounds in her rear end.  Turns out, the other dog in her home was attacking her; the owners relinquished her to the shelter.  They patched her up and we took her home.  Her name is Ladybug (original name was Lady).  She is a super sweetheart; she doesn't bat an eye at the kids' crazy antics.  She is mellow in the house, but is tightly wound with energy the second she gets outside.  She is loyal to us, but will bolt if off-leash.  We have some obedience training to do, but she is a little lover.

:: Christmas Eve: setting out carrots and lettuce for the reindeer and cookies for Santa (they were a little protective about Santa's goodies).

:: Christmas morning with Nana.

:: Elk Refuge sleigh ride with Nana and Papaw.

:: Sometimes I struggle to figure out what Juniper really loves.  It's a question that doesn't have a simple, one-word answer like "skiing" or "trucks" or "dolls" or "biking".  But since she has been old enough to do it, she's been putting on shows.  It used to be "pet shows" with stuffties, but has progressed to shows with smaller characters like matchbox cars and Playmobil.  Animals, still, are the center of the show with humans, occasionally, having a supporting roll (usually as a "butcher").  Here: she was tickled pink to have a captive audience.  

Playmobil show--holy heck she loves Playmobil; this animal-fairy set was a Christmas gift from Hazel:

The performance.  I told Juniper she is a playwright and director.  

Another show:

:: As for Hazel, she could have received nothing for Christmas but a bag of those egg-shaped lip balms.  She loves on them constantly, until they're gone.  A typical scene around these parts: Juniper putting on a show, Hazel applying lip balm:

:: Minus 2 degrees on the sled hill, Hazel and my man.

With my husband's brother, his wife and the cousins too.    

:: New Year's Eve.  Sushi, hard cider, campfire, sparklers, fireworks, friends and family.  Love!

^Our good friend T and Aunt D watching fireworks.^

^Hazel burned her mittens while I was taking this photo.  Oh, the sacrifices of getting a good shot.^  

That's all folks!  I'll see you here again, hopefully before another 2 months pass us by....

The Princess and the...Firefighter

Juniper is not a shy kid.  Never has been.  She'll sidle right up to a rough-looking carney at the fair and bombard him with questions.  She does, however, get star-struck.  Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Firefighters...she'll blush, runaway, or hide her face.

Originally, our family Halloween costume was going to be Charlotte's Web-themed (the first chapter book we'd ever made it through as a family).  Juniper: Wilbur, Hazel: Charlotte, me: Fern, my man: John Arable.  But as we were headed to the fabric store, Hazel suddenly declared she would be nothing but a blue princess.  And Juniper waffled around, landing on "A big green monster."  In the end, I ran out of time and scrambled for the costumes we already had or could easily acquire.

My mom had given her a firefighter costume and accessories for her birthday.  Juniper had owned it for a full two weeks without trying it on.  Whenever we suggested it, she reverted to her third-person saying, "I think Juniper's too shy of that."  A few days before Halloween, we got her to try it on.  And oh, my.  Her face turned pink.  She was bashful, proud, shy, elated.  She gazed at herself in the mirror, star-struck by her own reflection.  She was nervous.  Hazel sidled right up to her, saying, "It's okay Jun-i-per.  It's okay sister."  The little ballerina-princess consoling a tough firefighter.  So damed cute.

 

:: And a few more from a month of Halloween and Dias de los Muertos activities: 

Hazel's just always doing that^, regardless of the holiday.  

This is "Little Brother."  He entered our lives the end of September.  He was found to be without a heartbeat, so the kids made him a heart and gave him a few vaccinations.  

Trip to the Pumpkin Patch: 

Hazel is now the camera shy kid.  Plus, she cut her own hair a while back.  

We met up with friends at the patch; the kids were leaping and diving over the straw maze, causing all kinds of mayhem.  

Train ride. 

Kittens in the barn.  

They drew up plans and went to work.  

Halloween's Eve, we sat around the pumpkins, telling "witch stories."  

Halloween!  Behold: Fire, Elsa, Firefighter, and Hans

(Despite the time-crunch, I did manage to make my and Hazel's wool felt crowns.)

We do "Trunk or Treat" in our little town.  It's good for little kids, but when they get bigger we'll hit the neighborhoods.  

For weeks Juniper had been afraid the firefighters would recruit her and she'd never come home again.  When he noticed her costume ("No way!  You're a firefighter!") and invited her to tour the fire engine, she backed away, stammering, "No, no, no!"