Wednesday, April 18, 2012

morning glory

Tonight, I glanced through some of the blog posts I wrote when Juniper was Hazel's age.  When Juniper was a baby, it was as though time stood still and I could lay down and watch every second of her morning glory unfolding.  But Hazel is my second and, sometimes, I feel like magic has been eclipsed by frenzy.

Hazel has been head-over-heels in love with her hands for almost a month now.  Imagine, discovering two palms with five (five!) moveable parts each, and then discovering they belong to you and you can make them move.  Even better, you can use them to make other things move.  This is my favorite baby discovery.  What sets us apart.  Our hands.  The fact that we don't need them to walk.  That we can manipulate.  The power and responsibility we hold in our hands.  
But instead of a slow meditation over the way Hazel has discovered her hands, it's more like I got a glimpse out the window of a train flying at 90 miles per hour.  A common evening interior (and exterior) monologue might go something like this:

Hazel, you found your hands!  Oh look, you're gathering!  Juniper, stay out of the kitchen, no, no, DON'T DUMP THAT!  Oh shit, the noodles are boiling over....  What stinks?  Juniper, what do you have?  Look at Hazel smile!  Awwe.   Oh, wow, she's grabbing toys already.  I think she's more active than Juniper was at this...what's burning?  Hi honey, how was your day?  Juniper, put your diaper back on, come here you little turkey....  Okay.  Now, where did that onion go?  {Juniper: "I'm finking it might be in my teepee."  Dig onion out of teepee.}  Honey, look at Hazel with her hands!
Life is so full.  I wish I could slow it all down but that wouldn't be right, would it?
I love my job.  I have had physically exhausting jobs, and mentally taxing jobs, but this job here--raising these two kids--it's the hardest thing I've ever done.  It can take me to the breaking point of frustration one minute, have me rolling on the floor laughing the next.  I love my job.  I don't want to miss a thing and yet, with two kids, I feel like I'm getting steam-rollered by their growth, and changes, and discoveries.  I can't keep up.  My morning glories are in full bloom and I haven't even had my coffee.


  1. So beautiful. You've written this mama-prose so clearly and with a twist of smiles. Spot on!


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